I'm not sure what these images say about my neighbor.

One could deduce that folks around here walk out the front door with Fido and make a beeline to her yard in order to leave a steaming pile of doggie poo.

But in 10 years I have not ever seen a dog in her yard and I am a daily dog stroller. But for some reason, Miss Daisy has a powerful urge to want to pee in this--and only this yard in the whole 'hood. Okay, one time I let her. But she only poops at home. Like me.

But anyway, one could also deduce that folks in this neighborhood are thieves. But I can tell you that everyone has fruit trees out the wazoo in my little 'hood. Who wants her fucking oranges anyway? They never look ripe and full and brilliantly colored like mine, which scream to passers-by: "See my deep, pretty colors? Want to take me home and juice me? I'm so ripe I'm about to tumble off this tree limb. Go ahead, reach out and give me a squeeze...I know you want to eat me..."

My neighbor seems to be a pill. And she always turns her lights off on Halloween and pretends not to be home. The dead give-away is that every other night of the year the place is lit up like a maximum security prison.

This is just a guess, but I think my neighbor has probably not gotten laid in a long time. Or maybe ever. Which would be sad. Maybe not getting laid and having no hope of ever getting laid makes one so bitter and pinched that one places asinine signs in one's yard that really seem to say: "I am incredibly unhappy..."