my friend's cancer has apparently spread rapidly and her oncologist changed her status from Stage 3 to Stage 4. They are doing a full-out bombardment of chemo for two weeks that will amount to double the chemicals, then surgery. We are all wide-eyed and very quiet. We love her. She knows it. What more is there to say? It will be okay? I want to say this. But I can't force it out of my mouth because I can't be sure it will sound like me forming the words because right now I don't think it will be okay.
Call someone up today and tell them how much you love them.
6 comments:
Trust me. If you say "It'll be okay" you'll get tossed from the room, and you'll have deserved it.
Nobody knows anything. It's not your fault, not her fault. The concept of fair doesn't apply here.
As best you can, be with her. Fearlessly. This is not your story. Don't shy away from it. Be open to whatever she needs.
That's the sum total of what you can do. Do it well.
thanks bhd. coming from one who has faced the beast, I appreciate your thoughts very much.
Email me if you need. cathy at druidlabs dot com.
Wow, bhd, well said.
I know it's not fair but it makes me want to fucking scream. Your friends are leaving and look at all the uber assholes who get to stay a little longer. It's not fair but it is fucked.
Good luck and be strong, ell. My thoughts are with your friend and her cool circle of chick buds.
~elizabeth
We went through this last September/October, and it looks like it's starting up again this year. Elizabeth points out something along the lines that some of us keep saying at our place, how all the "old sick sisters" are doing great, and it's the young, vibrant, supposedly-full-of-life ones that keep getting taken.
I'm with bhd on not giving words of fakeness. My guess is that presence counts more than anything else .... and it sounds like you're already doing a phenomenal job of that.
Much peace and strength to you all in the struggle.
PS ~ My word verification was "mowfq" ..... seems right in line with elizabeth's thoughts on the matter!
Peace out to you .... let me know if I can do anything.
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