I need a break from:

• Mallala Yousafzai (yes, yes, yes, it makes me insensitive and wholly impolitic, but I don't give a shit and I'm not sorry. I'm sick of her).
• Billy Ray's daughter 
• Bieber. But first I want a shot at punching him in his vagina. Really hard. 
• Girls (the HBO show)
• Speaking of HBO, "Masters of Sex" is NOT even remotely interesting. It's a fucking soap opera in which you get some vague nudity and decent 1950s costumes but basically, meh. 
• Jennifer Lawrence
• CHERYL STRAYED
• Lena Dunham, Lena Dunham, Lena Dunham
• Beyonce. Please. Go the fuck away with your sparkly, polished, taut awesomeness. You're exhausting. 
• Chris Christie
• Bills. They just keep coming. WTF?
• Adult responsibilities. I just want to veg for like three months. 
• Oprah and Dr. Fucking Oz