why she won't win

Three words: She's too angry.

Let's face it--on a man, the hostility factor can be a huge attribute. It can come off as commanding and ballsy. We want a man who takes charge, dammit. I know I do. On a woman, it has serious ick factor. Hillary's hostility will make the penises of men everywhere shrink up into their bodies like frightened little turtles. An angry, scorned woman in power? Yikes. The more she pounds the podium, her upper lip curled in disdain of those evil republicans, the more the shrinkage will spread across the U.S. And we can't have that. A woman who was humiliated on a global scale by a philandering husband becoming president? It's payback time on the scale of Nightmare on Elm Street for every guy who ever even contemplated getting a hummer on the side. Which is 100% of the men in the U.S. Oh, no, it's just too fucking scary for American men.

Hillary's anger will sink her. She will be called a harpy, a ball-buster, worse. She is already coming off like a bitter, shrill shrew on her campaign stops. If I'm already weary of it, where will I be 21 months from now? And I swear, I want a woman to win the White House. I do. But Hillary is going to burn everyone out to the point that the sound of her voice will make us all want to retch come November 2008. I already can't take any more of it. My prediction: she will not be the first woman president. Maybe that's not a bad thing.