all in all this week has sucked total ass but at least my homo boyfriends think I look like this (see left).

Thank god for the gay men in our lives who keep us girls going with their delusional yet well-intentioned pumping up of our self images.

PS: my tits have never looked like this. Okay, maybe when I was nine. For about 10 minutes.

And my eyebrows looked like this chick's (the hooker on the half-shell) when I was on a bender in the '80s of plucking the shit out of them until one day Phillip (yes, yet another homo boyfriend) did an intervention by telling me I was careening dangerously close to Lucy Ricardo eyebrows. I stopped immediately. I mean, come on. I did have some taste.