so Oprah is N-O-T a sister of sappho--whew!

I don't know about you guys, but gosh, I'm just ever so relieved to hear that Oprah and Gay-le are not in fact, rummaging around in one another's Louis Vuitton leather panties. Maybe now I can finally get a decent night's sleep because this question was right up there with the "is there life after death?" and "why are we here?" ruminations for me...

If you really wanna know what I think, here it is: For a while there I had suspected that Oprah and Gayle were the same person, you know, ala Michael/LaToya, 'cause, well, you know, if you have ever heard Gay-le speak, her tone, timber and intonation is exactly like the Big O's. And so I began to think of "them" as "shem" or "Opayle." And they are never seen in the same place at the same time. Okay, not true, but I'm just sayin'...

And let's face it, would Gay-le really have a 7-figure job or a real reason to live were it not for her girlfriend, er, I mean "best friend" (at least it's not the lame-o "roommate") employing her? Girl, please. She'd be a goldenrod blazer-wearing Century-21 realtor or maybe the Channel 9 weather girl in Hackensack. If she were lucky.

I don't care what anybody does when they wanna get their freak on, I really, really don't. Go ahead, Oprah, tie Gayle up and hang her from the bathroom door and have your nasty way with her. And make Steadman watch (can you just see poor Steadman all curled up fetal in the corner weeping and wringing his hands? I can). But please, bitches, don't be calling news conferences to tell us about it one way or the other. Because, really, in spite of your megalomanical narcissism-driven sincere belief to the contrary, truly, no one gives a shit.

Hugs and (so not gay) kisses,
ell