twue wuv

my dad called me at 8:30 this morning to triumphantly announce that I look like my great-grandmother. It's taken him all this time to figure this one out, no matter that my age now begins with a 4. Dad said he and my mother have been at this discussion in earnest for two weeks now, ever since they came to see a performance of a show I was in that was set in the 1930s (see drag queen photo below). Dad has been mystified since then about who in the family I resemble but he just knew it was someone way back there. So I look like Theresa. Theresa was an actress in Hungary and she came to America before the turn of the last century. According to family lore, she lied about her age to get on the ship without a parent or an adult guardian so when she was older and we tried to get her a social security card, no one knew her exact age because (a)she lied about it and (b)she had no birth certificate. I think that took huge balls--the leaving home and going to a new country. And she was beautiful, so I am flattered that my dad thinks I resemble her in some way. Maybe it's just the balls part because I do have those from time to time.

She always said she came to America not to find a better life but to find her true love. She knew he was here. She just knew it. And I guess he was. And they lived happily ever after until his work as a coal miner affected his health and he started to drink a lot then died young of stomach cancer leaving her in mourning for fifty years. But it was great while it lasted. They were madly in love with one another and so I guess her trip across the ocean was worth it.

Theresa was always "Buba" to me and my cousins. She spoke little English (as far as she let on) and she was always ancient. I mean, she was my dad's grandmother, and that was OLD, man. She taught me how to make stuffed cabbage the "old country" way and so nothing is measured. It's a handful of this and a pinch of that and my family begs me to make it a few times a year because it is so yummy. I make it just like she taught me and roll the cabbage just right then let it all cook all day in a huge vat with sauerkraut and pork loin and tomato sauce. To die for.

Buba was arouund 100 when she died. But she was still a huge believer in true love and she adored the movie "The Princess Bride." My favorite part, by the way, is when poor Buttercup is about to marry the creepy evil prince and they are standing in the church and the speech-challenged priest starts to deliver a homily about "Wuv. Twue wuv. It's what bwings us togetha" Totally cracks me up. I also dig the whole Dread Pirate Roberts routine.

But what is the deal with twue wuv, anyway? Is it real? Does it exist? Is there one true love for each of us? In spite of my anti-Valentine's Day stance, I think so. But twue wuv doesn't always bring us together, sometimes it is the very thing that keeps us apart. And so it isn't always wonderful. But it is worth it.