eula

This is Miss Eula. She showed up one day in the lobby of the theatre where I do some work onstage and off.

We know her name is Eula because we rifled through her fancy red handbag and found a little quasi-birth certificate, ala Cabbage Patch kids.

She likes to hang out and especially enjoys frightening small children, which I find infinitely amusing as well.

We sometimes stash things in her handbag when she isn't looking.

Right now she's packing some Juicy Fruit gum, a package of condoms, numerous ticket stubs, a playbill from Brighton Beach Memoirs, a tube of Vagisil and a jar of mango salsa. Oh, and a hankie. With little blue flowers embroidered on it.

A few weeks ago, someone peeled off her false eyelashes and ran off with them. I thought that was a rotten thing to do.

I suppose she screamed and carried on but none of us were there to hear it. I suspect the children's theatre kids. Little bastards.